"Maybe God wants to get something to you that you can’t have with me here.” That is what Terry told me shortly before he died. Immediately I thought we’ll I don’t want it. It saddens me to say he was right. God wanted me to have a deeper understanding of His love for me. AND to trust Him in a bold new way. I followed Terry as He followed Christ. That is honorable for a wife. However if I’m honest I put Terry in the middle. I wrote about that in my blog www.palacestylelife.com/single-post/the-middleman. And I didn’t want God in His rightful place in my heart http://Www.palacestylelife.com/.../I-don-t-want-god-as-my.... All of that is changing. This journey has been long and painful but I’m learning to let go of Terry, receive God’s love and trust Him more. I tell my Father often, “God I want all that you have for me.” Sometimes that comes through grief, pain and difficulty.